WOULD A GIRL EVER SEND JULIO IGLESIAS HOME EARLY?
Women Don't Lie - Men Don't Listen
Success Coach - Doc Love
Hey Doc,
I’ve had your “System” for over a year and have been practicing it ever since. Being
able to weed out the Feministas, Gold Diggers, and ungiving has been a blessing.
I met Ashley through eHarmony.com. She’s 95% of what I’ve been looking for. To be
honest, the only thing I’d change is to open her mind to different kinds of food -- this
girl can eat chicken and steamed vegetables every day and not get bored because that’s
all she likes. She’s 26, a knockout, educated, has a good job, her own place, and lives
a good life. I’m 26, make a great living, almost have my own place (I share with my
brother since he’s broke), and am looking to find a wonderful girl I can go the distance
with.
Doc, I used your techniques to win this gal. Being the ultimate gentleman, I
opened her doors, kept our dates light and fun, and treated her with
respect. To my surprise, she offered to pay for our first four dates. I paid, of course,
and she liked that. I think I waited too long (the fourth date) to kiss her though, but
after I did she complimented me on my talent and proceeded to kiss me some more.
Tonight was our sixth rendezvous. I took Ashley to an upscale Chinese restaurant and we
saw a comedy act at the Improv. Dinner was just okay since the restaurant was loud and we
got terrible service, but she was a sport and our conversation was light and funny. We
made the show on time, but the seating was bad since we were up against the wall and I had
a small table as a barrier between us, and I had wanted to sit next to her and have my arm
around her at least.
So here’s where I’m confused. On the way back to her place Ashley got really tired –
she was yawning and almost fell asleep in the car. I walked her up to her apartment door,
and we went inside and sat down on her couch. I could see in her face that she was ready
to pass out so I said, “I’m leaving.”
I went in for a short kiss. After all of our earlier dates we always had a great time --
we would have a short, fun conversation at her place and I got the impression that she
didn’t want me to leave. This time however, the energy just wasn’t there.
Her playful comment at that point irked me: “Since it’s only nine o’clock, what are
you going to do -- go home and go to sleep?” I laughed it off, but I was a little
offended since she gave me the impression that she thought I had no life. I should have
said that I was going to call my friends and go have fun with them, but I didn’t.
Doc, am I thinking about this too much? Would you have done anything different? Should I
be worried about Ashley’s Interest Level, or is a girl entitled to one off night in six?
Lamarr - who wonders if he played it too cool
Hi Lamarr,
You don’t realize it, but you’re one lucky guy! When it’s your turn to cook Ashley
dinner, you can throw hers together in five minutes. You don’t know how fortunate you
are to have someone who’s not a picky eater! Chicken and steamed veggies? A breeze! You’ve
got a hell of a woman there. This girl’s 100%, not 95%. Too bad you probably won’t be
able to keep her.
Because you haven’t even “won” Ashley yet, despite what you may think. You’ve only
gotten through six dates with her -- barely. And number six didn’t exactly put you over
the top. Like most guys, you’re going way too fast. (And let me remind you that you’re
still going to be light and funny and treat her with respect after 40 years of marriage,
too – if you get that far, which I doubt.)
Before we go on, let me ask you this: why is a girl who likes you offering to pay for
everything so soon? She should be doing it on the fourth or sixth date, not for every
single date. This is a huge RED FLAG, dude, and you should have picked up on it. The
dating dance says that the guy pays for the first four dates. And another thing -- you
should have kissed her sooner. You waited too long.
How come you didn’t survey the Chinese restaurant on an earlier night to see how loud it
was before going in there and not being able to hear what each other was saying? You didn’t
do your homework like you should have, Lamarr. And when things started going bad at the
comedy club, you should have walked, and told Ashley that you’d do it another night.
Again, you should have had everything arranged beforehand. You should have been in a
restaurant that was nice and quiet, and you should have had good seats at the club. A
smart dater wouldn’t have had all those obstacles blocking him. And don’t worry about
getting your hands on Ashley. She should have had her arm around you. Are you sure you
read my book?
As far as her behavior that night was concerned, maybe she had a tough day at work, and
that’s why she was tired. You totally blew it by walking her into her apartment. Like my
cousin Fast Eddie Love says, “If she’s already yawning in the car, GET THE HELL OUT OF
THERE!” Sheesh, Lamarr, what the heck are you doing – trying to beat this horse to
death? Here Ashley’s already halfway to dreamland and you want to go inside her place,
drone on about how lousy your date was, and lower her Interest Level even further? HUGE
MISTAKE!
I’ll tell you something else: Ashley was yawning before she even hit the car, I
guarantee it. You shouldn’t have even gone to the comedy club.
But it gets even worse. Here you have a girl with her eyes shut and snoring and you’re
trying to kiss her? You should hotfoot it over to the local police department and register
as a sex offender!
Pal, you might very well have had other good dates with Ashley, but circumstances change,
and you have to be ready, willing and able to adjust -- quickly. Think about it: this babe
was sawing wood before the night was even over! How blind can you be? Check out the name
of my column: “Women don’t lie – and men don’t listen, see or look!”
When Ashley dropped that little comment at the end of your date, you should have told her
you were going out to have some fun no matter what she did. You failed to take advantage
of a perfect opportunity to show her that you weren’t lost without her. Now she knows
the truth. You’re just a whimpering puppy dog.
Then again, maybe you’re reading too much into her words. Maybe she was just teasing
you. Maybe she was just being cute. Like Doctor Freud said, “It’s hard to tell what
she intended when she’s groggy and one eye is closed!”
Are you thinking too much about Ashley? Absolutely. You should be thinking about all the
mistakes you’re making in the dating game, not about her. Guy, you might have bought my
Dating Dictionary, but are you sure you actually read it? I suggest that you sit down and
memorize it word for word before you make any more costly blunders.
Yes, Lamarr, you should be worried about Ashley’s Interest Level, but her being tired
has nothing to do with anything. To you Psych majors, I’m going to say it again: when
she’s about to drop with fatigue and you hear funny sounds coming out of her mouth, that’s
the end of the date – you’re out of there.
Yeah, you played it too cool, Lamarr – about as cool as a hot Weber grill.
Remember, guys: if they start to yawn, it’s time to cut the date.
To send me your love questions or to find out more about The "System," visit me
at http://www.doclove.com or call (800)
404-2644.
Doc Love is a talk show host and entertainment speaker who coaches men in his seminars.
For the past 30 years he has asked thousands of women, "Why do you stay with
one man versus another?"
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