WHY DID PAUL NEWMAN’S WIFE NEVER LOSE INTEREST IN HIM?

WHY DID PAUL NEWMAN’S WIFE NEVER LOSE INTEREST IN HIM?

Women Don't Lie - Men Don't Listen
Success Coach - Doc Love

Hey Doc,

There’s an issue I haven’t seen discussed in any of your previous articles. It’s in regard to the marital decline in Hollywood. Let’s take for example the recent news of Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt’s recent separation, which has made headlines.

Obviously these are two very highly regarded Hollywood stars. They seemed to be on the verge of overcoming the odds and doing the unthinkable, which is to be one of those rare couples making it through the busy schedules and distractions and pressures that come with being in the spotlight. But as we’ve seen, it wasn’t to be, although they’ve been together almost five long years. Unfortunately their romance is officially over, which isn’t, I guess, much of a surprise, since this is a common occurrence in the lives of actors and actresses.

Now they’ve mutually decided to “formally separate,” as they declared in their statement. But I remember you mentioned that women are responsible for doing the dumping the vast majority of the time. That’s when it struck me that Jennifer Aniston had to be the one who broke it off. She was spotted at the airport without her wedding ring, and she even forgot to mention her husband’s name when speaking at an awards ceremony, things which seem to have indicated trouble. One source stated, “She has been resisting having a child for a number of reasons. One was her career. Also she wanted to make sure that (the marriage) would last. There was a little doubt that crept in. He was much more interested in having a child. I think it was Jen that broke it off. He was a half-step behind her.”

So it appears that her Interest Level must have sunk to the bottom if she called it quits. It’s hard to believe that a man like Brad Pitt with his good looks and fame, which most women would die for, could get kicked into the gutter. Which raises questions: is Interest Level the key reason female Hollywood stars give up on their relationships? Does Interest Level apply to them as it would to the average woman? Why is it that these Hollywood couples can’t make it through thick and thin? Why are they constantly breaking up and divorcing?

I would love to hear your comments on this.

Nazr - who can’t understand what’s going on

Hi Nazr,

Not only did Brad and Jennifer’s separation make headlines, but Us Weekly and People magazines’ circulation was up over 40% that week. All of which shows the level of interest we have in the personal lives of celebrities.

But let me tell you something. All the trappings of fame – schedules, career demands, public appearances, etc. – is a ton of heavy stuff to have working against you when you’re trying to make a go of something as fragile as a marriage. So what you’re pointing out here, Nazr, is very important. Judging by the amount of time Brad and Jen actually spent together on account of all the pressures, maybe they had almost five very short years together!

On the other hand, the divorce rate of the stars isn’t any higher than the rate for the average population. But celebrities make headlines with their breakups because, as my Uncle Jethro Love says, “We don’t give a hoot for the problems of Johnny who works down at the Shell station.”

What’s funny about Brad and Jennifer though is that after eight years of not being able to decide what to do together – like have a baby -- they’re going to do things “mutually” now that they’re going their separate ways! Like Rabbi Love says, “Whenever I hear the word ‘mutual,’ I know it really means ‘hate’ and ‘daggers!’”

So, Jennifer was spotted without her wedding ring? That about says it all, my man! To you Psych majors, do women with high Interest Level ever take their wedding rings off? Doesn’t it make more sense those gals whose Interest Level hits 49% will take theirs off instead?

Jennifer “forgot” to mention her husband’s name at the awards ceremony on purpose, pal. Along the same lines, I recently read an interview with Faith Hill where she talked about what she loves to do when she’s not working – being home, playing with her kids, puttering around the yard, etc. But in eight long sentences to that question she never once mentioned her husband. Wonder how long that marriage will last? These are the types of things as a love doctor that I’m looking for to take the temperature of a marriage. Rather than be brainwashed by what you read, these are the types of things you guys have to be looking for too.

When you mention this “source” who knows all about Jennifer and Brad’s marital woes, remember what Judge Joe Brown says about hearsay – it doesn’t cut it. Sure, maybe there’s a little something to the various reasons cited for the breakup. Like, for instance, Jennifer didn’t fancy having a baby on the set with her and having to mess with dirty diapers (not that she’d actually do the nappy-changing). But the only reason that REALLY counts is, like the Reality Factor says, that the woman’s Interest Level is the single most important element in a relationship – PERIOD. And it may be hard to believe that Brad Pitt could be dumped, but at the end of the day his underwear is dirty too, just like every other guy’s out there. His alleged fling with Angelina Jolie came long after Jennifer had had it with him.

So yes, Interest Level is the top reason female stars give up on their relationships -- assuming she didn’t marry the guy to advance her career, which of course is practically unheard of in Hollywood. (Yeah, right! Check out Kate Capshaw and Steven Spielberg. Or Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas. Or Roseanne and Tom Arnold, for that matter.)

Amen, Nazr. You hit the nail on the head -- Interest Level does apply to celebrities, just as it does to the average woman. Remember that “The System” cuts across geographical, religious, sociological, and cultural lines. It even trumps Fame.

So, guy, you want to know what accounts for Hollywood’s failure when it comes to marriage? For one thing, celebrities get married way too fast. They don’t know the girl 15 minutes before they’re running down to the jeweler for a rock the size of Rhode Island. (Of course that doesn’t apply to Tommy Lee and Pam Anderson – they knew each other for two whole days!) They should really date someone for at least two years before they get married. But it never happens.

Number two, there’s no balance in their relationships. For the marriage to have a chance of lasting, the woman shouldn’t be in the industry. She should be a schoolteacher, or work at the credit union. She should have a good job that fulfills her, but it should be completely unrelated to show business or the limelight. That way the people involved won’t have those nasty ego clashes that happen when they’re by themselves and comparing careers. A man and a woman need space and only two or three things in common to make a relationship work. That’s why Joanne Woodward never lost interest in Paul Newman – she has no interest in racing cars or salad dressing!

The reason that Johnny Carson and Peter Jennings got married four times (and let’s not forgot our pill-popping Rush Limbaugh, who’s about to get hitched for a fourth time!) is because they don’t have my principles to guide them.

Remember, guys: the movie star and the girl behind the register at the supermarket both leave you for the same reason – low Interest Level.

To send me your love questions or to find out more about The "System," visit me at http://www.doclove.com or call (800) 404-2644.

Doc Love is a talk show host and entertainment speaker who coaches men in his seminars. For the past 30 years he has asked thousands of women, "Why do you stay with one man versus another?"