HER KISS TELLS YOU EVERYTHING
Women Don't Lie - Men Don't Listen
Success Coach - Doc Love
Doc Love,
There's is a girl on my college campus I'm really interested in. She's a knockout. We've
been talking on the phone together and have gone out dancing for a month or so, and she
seems to like it when I flirt with her. The other day, we were making jokes about some old
guy trying to get her number, and she mentioned that she wasn't interested in ANY guy!
This confuses me. Was that her way of saying that I didn't have a chance, or was she just
making conversation? I've stopped pursuing her, and I don't call her as much.
I'm still confused. Any answers?
Spencer - who wants to know if he played it right
Hi Spencer,
All your confusion about where you stand with this girl is based on your failure to
'close' her properly. From what you've told me it's pretty obvious that you haven't even
tried to kiss her. It's been over a month. What have you been waiting for, a lightning
bolt from God?
Flirting isn't closing. You can flirt with a girl from here to kingdom come, and it won't
tell you a damn thing about her Interest Level. Girls who have no romantic interest in you
whatsoever will flirt with you in a manner, which is virtually indistinguishable from the
way, that a girl who is gaga over you would.
It's impossible to tell the difference between a stroker and a sweetheart until the pedal
hits the metal. By making a move for a lip-to-lip kiss, (a peck on the cheek doesn't
qualify) you can call a stroker's bluff. (It's also how you can give the sweetheart what
she's been hoping and waiting for.)
Have you ever had the experience, Spencer, of having a blast doing some serious R-rated
dirty dancing with a chick at a night club and then winding up with nothing more to show
for all your bumping and grinding than a parting, "Thanks, that was fun," from
her? Flirting can be more thrilling than a full body search at the airport but the only
way you can interpret the meaning and motivations behind it is when you CLOSE. Flirting
can mean everything or it can mean absolutely nothing.
You have to ask yourself, Spencer, "Why haven't I made a move? Am I terrified that
she'll reject me if I do? Am I trying to prove to her that I'm not like all those other
guys? Am I too 'nice' for my own good?" Sure, it would be great if us guys didn't
have to always be the ones who have to put our ego on the line and make the first move.
Women have the luxury of never having to ever risk rejection if they don't want to, and
they can still have all the affection and intimacy they could ever want or need. But like
it or not, we're stuck with the sticky and tricky job of taking all the risk.
In rare instances, the woman will make the first move, but her Interest Level has to be in
the 90's range and that's not where it usually starts out. Even when it is higher than
Oprah's monthly pastry bill, the woman still might hold out for quite awhile, waiting for
the man to make the first move.
Actually, you can lower a woman's Interest Level in you by letting too much time go by
without taking the initiative to get more intimate. It demonstrates a lack of confidence,
and it can be a turnoff to a woman. You weren't able to tell me where this gal's Interest
Level in you started, Spencer, but it's possible that that is what has happened.
When she said, "I'm not interested in any guy," it wasn't exactly something that
a woman with high Interest Level would say. If she really liked you I don't think that she
would say something like that because she'd be concerned that it would discourage you and
turn you off (which it did). On the other hand, I think her Interest Level started out
high and then sank as she noticed that you lacked courage and that you were too available
to chit-chat on the phone (which is anti-Challenge).
Still, Spencer, we don't know for sure whether her Interest Level in you is high or low.
But there's a simple, easy and effective way to get a read on it. Call her up, take her
out somewhere fun and at the end of the evening, do your best to lay a lovely smooch on
her. If she turns her head and gives you her cheek to kiss instead of her lips, then you
know you're dead meat. If she sucks your tongue out of your head, then you'll know you've
got a live one.
Remember, guys, never end a first date without going for that kiss!
To send me your love questions or to find out more about The "System," visit me
at http://www.doclove.com or call (800)
404-2644.
Doc Love is a talk show host and entertainment speaker who coaches men in his seminars.
For the past 30 years he has asked thousands of women, "Why do you stay with
one man versus another?"
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