THE THREE BIGGEST MISCONCEPTIONS THAT MEN HAVE ABOUT WOMEN
Women Don't Lie - Men Don't Listen
Success Coach - Doc Love
Dear Doc Love,
I've been reading your articles for almost a year now. I used to read them because I
thought you were totally full of crap, and I enjoyed laughing at what a pompous jerk you
were. Well, I have to admit that over time, I've come to realize that you actually have
figured out some important things about relationships that I almost never hear anyone else
talk about.
I guess I started to "get it" right after my girlfriend dumped me. I was trying
to figure out what the hell happened, and that same week you wrote an article that
described my situation exactly. I had been doing things that were lowering her Interest
Level without my knowing it.
I'm seeing more and more now how so much of what I thought women wanted is totally wrong.
Like you say, we get confused by listening to all those female love doctors who don't
understand how even they themselves actually want a guy who is a Challenge, rather than a
guy who kisses their butts all the time.
I'm convinced that that the war of the sexes is real and that thousands of men are getting
slaughtered every day. The only relationship expert that I've ever heard talk about this
is you, Doc. You're right. There's so much bad advice out there. We lose our way. We get
disoriented. We wind up either barking up the wrong tree, or just flying by the seat of
our pants without a compass. So I want to acknowledge you for being a real beacon of
objectivity and a reliable source for accurate information when it comes to dating and
relating to women properly.
I have to say that I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed with all the rethinking and reorienting
I'm having to do, now that I've become a believer in your "System." I keep
discovering more misconceptions that I was laboring under, So, Doc, what you would say are
the most important ones to be aware of and to get free of. I need to make things simple
right now.
Theo - who understands the power of simplicity
Hey Theo.
Thanks for the great compliment. I'm glad to hear that you're getting un-brainwashed.
Ok. I'll make it REAL simple for you. Easy as 1, 2. 3. Here are three of the biggest
misconceptions that men have about approaching women:
1) "I can raise any woman's Interest Level in me by complimenting
her."
Yes, this thinking has a certain (false) logic to it. Complimenting women sure seems to
work in the movies and on TV. A handsome lawyer tells Ally McBeal how smart and beautiful
she is, and she swoons and wants to make babies with him. And all the girls in the X rated
videos sure seem to respond well to compliments. Extra well. The only problem is that
these are not real life situations. In real-life, with real women, laying on the
compliments only hurts your cause. It's anti-Challenge.
2) "I can raise any woman's Interest Level in me by boasting about myself."
Same thing with boasting. It's certainly true that women respond quite favorably to
wealthy, powerful, successful men. So it seems logical that it would be helpful to tell a
woman things about yourself that would make her think of you as someone who's a major
league player.
But no matter how you play it, boasting only makes a woman feel as if you're trying to
impress her. And the operative word here is trying. Trying is the opposite of Challenge. A
REAL heavyweight kind of a guy doesn't have to try. He emanates confidence. It's far
better to let her WORK a little to discover what an amazing guy you are. To you Psych
majors, keep it to yourself.
3) "If I persistently demonstrate to the woman whom I'm courting,
how high my Interest Level in her is, it will raise HER Interest Level in me."
This one's the real killer. Once again, media brainwashing is a major factor in
perpetuating this myth. How many love stories have you seen or read where the plot line
goes like this: Handsome guy likes beautiful girl, but girl isn't interested in guy. Guy
is determined to do whatever it takes to win girl over. After guy begs, jumps through a
dozen hoops and sacrifices himself for her, girl finally realizes: "Oh, gosh, I love
him!" As my cousin "Fast Eddie" Love would say, "Puke!"
Who do you think these plot lines are written for? It ain't for anyone who can grow a
beard. Women love to fantasize about guys who will do anything to win their hearts, even
risk death. They like the idea of a guy who is so enchanted by their charms that he can't
control himself and won't give up. But in real life, women want to do the pursuing. In
real life, if you come on heavy, you lose. In real life, if you keep pursuing a woman
after she said "No" five times, you get sued for sexual harassment or …
arrested for stalking.
That should be simple enough for you Theo. Good luck and keep studying!
Remember, guys, it's always better to be a Challenge.
To send me your love questions or to find out more about The "System," visit me
at http://www.doclove.com or call (800)
404-2644.
Doc Love is a talk show host and entertainment speaker who coaches men in his seminars.
For the past 30 years he has asked thousands of women, "Why do you stay with
one man versus another?"
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